I just keep thinking maybe interpreting ISN'T for me. But I don't know what IS. I've been trying to figure this out for so long, and I am so frustrated that I haven't yet. All through high school I worked my butt off so I could get my generals for college out of the way. I took 3 years of CADD, and finished my math and science requirements. The summer before my senior year I worked for my uncle drafting, for year thats what I thought I wanted to do. I LOVED the creative and computer side of CADD, but not drafting lines all day. Then I tried Interior Design at ASU, again the computer design part was fun, but I hated drawing, and just didn't have the drive.After that I did a semester of Early Childhood Education, which ended early {NOT for me} and was the start of my one year break from school.
Finally when I was up in Utah I got this super strong desire to learn more Sign, and it kept nagging at me until I started my classes at Phoenix College. But now, I feel like this is all wrong. I have no idea why, I'm not starting my period any time soon, and I'm not preggo so it's not my hormones {I know for some that was the first thing thats the first thing you though huh}. I just feel like I need to figure out what I want to do so I can DO it already! I want to stop wasting time, but I want to have passion for what I'm doing, I want to feel like I'm on the right track, and I just don't feel it. help!
I hate feeling like I'm wasting time, absolutely despise this feeling. What else am I supposed to do though? I literally tried everything I can think of. I want to have a skill, a usable, helpful skill. I want my skill to improve the lives of others...but I can't think of what I could possibly do to help any one.
I just don't understand why I can't be like everyone else I know, who knows exactly what they want career-wise and gets it done, and works, and loves it. I've been at this for 5 years now, why am I not finished and working?????? Not to mention, I feel like all this time spent going to school for something I don't feel right about I could be spending working a full-time job and helping with bills...
and now for the repeat.
I just don't know what to do with myself. {also, good song, the white stripes, pity about the break-up}
I wonder if the frustration just comes from not DOING it anymore? Maybe see if you can find a group of adults who are hearing impaired and sign... and see if they can help? And then, if not, you know for sure it's not for you. Maybe you were supposed to take it because you might have a challenge with hearing impairment one day? (I mean, I hate to say it, but it can happen to anyone. What if you have a child who is hearing impaired? You won't lose all your skill. Having that foundation will help if that does happen.) I'm in the "everything happens for a reason" club. So, I'm guessing you felt so strongly about it because it is something that will be useful in the future. As for "figuring it all out"... I don't know many people who have it figured out. I still don't know what I want to do... hahaha. Even friends who have careers and are on the path to better their careers don't feel as strongly for it as they did when they started on it. It's tough being a grownup! We think we have it so bad as kids... too bad we didn't know it would be worse now huh??
ReplyDeleteSorry Kelc! I know how you feel. My freshman year I went through about 6 different majors, starting the applications for all, applied to one, didn't get in, then decided on another one, finally got in and now I'm thinking I'm not so sure either. But I was thinking, and this is just an idea, but what about public relations or communications or something? I feel like either of those are things you would be good at. You would be working with people all the time. Anyways, just a thought. Good luck!
ReplyDeletePossibly one of the hardest decisions we face at this age, don't think everyone has it figured out what to do. I'm still figuring out what I want to do. Something I can tell you is that the Lord is very mindful of each one of us. I know that there have been times when I have felt like political science isn't a good fit for me, like I was not qualified for this internship that I have but the Lord places things/people in our life for a reason.
ReplyDeletePres. Thomas S. Monson once said "There is a guiding hand above all things. Often when things happen, it’s not by accident. One day, when we look back at the seeming coincidences of our lives, we will realize that perhaps they weren’t so coincidental after all."
You'll find something, I know it. You are a phenomenal person with a big heart and you are so kind, funny, and beautiful inside and out. Love you bffal <3 Don't get discouraged, you'll get there :-)
Just walk in to a proffesional photographer and smile really big cause your beautiful and you could be a model and still dress modest which would be totally unique and people would love and adore you.
ReplyDeleteYou'll figure something out just remember prov 3:5. (it always helps me, that and d&c 6:36) I know you'll find a way.
I love you!
Maybe web design would be something to try. You seem to like the computer side of designing and the creative aspect of it. Graphic design might be another option. Helping people can be something that you do throughout your life as you love and serve the people around you, it doesn't necessarily have to be a huge part of your job. I'm sure you'll figure it out. You have lots of options because you're so talented!
ReplyDeletei know excatly how you feel .. i have been in the early childhood field for 9 years. i ahve recently just switched to pshycology/marriage and family counseling.. its a matter of me actually getting my butt back into school... your a very talented smart girl, maybe marketings, web design... interperting for the church? Hang in there love.
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