soul

I can't focus today

I can't focus this week

there is a thought flying through my mind at light speed

one.

constant.

now, this isn't a thought I would like to admit to, in fact I've been very anti-this-thought for as long as I can remember.

No, I'm not ready to share what it is, but soon, maybe.

You know that feeling where you try to concentrate on something you need to be doing but your body, no, your soul is yearning for something you want, or rather now all of sudden you desperately need

well my soul is aching, yearning, stretching, wanting, desperate

and it's completely out of the blue {and by out of the blue I mean my body has been periodically yearning for said-something for the past few weeks, a few ago it was out of the clear blue yonder}

What I do? 

if I don't consider what my soul is aching for and continue on MY plan, will my aching ever stop?

is MY plan really more important than my soul's?

is this just a passing phase?

I've never felt quite this way before, my longing is literally near painful, its not a passing thought, it hasn't left since it came, and I feel it

in my chest, in my throat, in my heart, in every part of me.

Even why I try to get rid of it, when I try to be logical, I can't.

am I lying to myself?

is this really my soul? or something else entirely?

if only I could interpret my own feelings