I'm sitting here feeling my sweet baby bear dance inside of me and I can't help but shout it from the internet heavens, I'M HAVING A BABY!
I am so grateful to be pregnant! This is something I've wanted for so long, and after months of Dr's appointments, blood tests, and the possibility of involving medication to move it along, I simply can't complain about pregnancy discomforts because I am so thrilled that I get to be a mama in 3 short months!
I found out I was pregnant really early on (about a week before I would have missed my period, had I been having normal periods, let alone ovulating at all..) and was a nervous wreck until the Dr. would see me at 7 weeks and we were able to hear her tiny heartbeat. I had had a chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage at about 7 weeks) in the fall of 2012 (when the egg is fertilized but it doesn't implant properly into the uterine wall), and was so nervous that I would have another. When I heard that baby's heartbeat and saw that little bean on the screen right where it was supposed to be, implanted right how it was supposed to have, I lost it. For several weeks after I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test just to make sure I was still pregnant! I don't recommend doing this, obviously, as those things aren't cheap. The only symptoms I had at first were tender (not to mention a full cup size bigger) boobies, and a little bit of nausea in the morning if I didn't eat right away. Those symptoms were quickly followed by the worst acne of my life, but that's why we have makeup, ladies...that is why Sephora exists.
I remember feeling really bloated for a long time, which I think was partly because I have a gluten sensitivity and all that I could eat without wanting to throw up was cheerios (those are made of wheat, in case you didn't know). We also had our South Africa trip right at the beginning of March, which was right in the middle of my morning sickness stretch, but luckily it seemed to go away for the week I was abroad, only to return when we got back. One exception to this was the airplane. You have no idea how disgusting airplanes are until you are pregnant, with a super-spidey-sense of smell, on a 16 hour flight headed to Dubai. I don't get nauseous on planes...I was so nauseous on this plane. I kid you not, it was the most disgusting 16 hours of my life...and the next one from Dubai to Johannesburg wasn't any better.
I switched Doctors when I was in Phoenix for my girl's weekend back in April (at 14 weeks) and couldn't be happier with my choice. My doctor in D.C. was pushy about a few things that I thought were unnecessary, and I didn't realize how uncomfortable he made me feel until I went to my Doctor in Phoenix and instantly felt at ease. At the time he was 90% sure of our little bear's gender, so he wrote it down on a folded piece of paper and stapled it shut. Taylor and I wanted to wait to get excited until doc was 100% sure, and so we waited until we moved back to Arizona and went to our first appointment together to find out that baby was a GIRL! We both had had a feeling that it was girl, and I'm so glad we were right!
I'm not just past the half-way mark, at 25 weeks (as of this past Saturday to be exact). I've gained 27 pounds already, which is a lot more than I intended, (which was a rude awakening) but I've realized I have no control. I eat a healthy balanced diet and I go to the gym six days a week, so what I've gained is what I was going to gain, and I still have another 15 weeks to gain some more! Bring it! As long as I feel healthy and am making healthy choices I'm confident my baby will be healthy and I can get back to my old self in no time after she gets here! As much as I gripe about my weight though, I really do love my pregnant body. I love to feel mine and Taylor's baby move inside of me. I love thinking of another life inside of mine, and how important it is to take care of my body so that my body can protect my little one and help her to grow. I also love my breasts (as weird as that sounds, and as uncomfortable as they sometimes can be); I have curves I never had before and it's kind of fun!
It's funny how much advice I've gotten on my pregnancy so far. Every one has something to say, and heaven forbid you google it! I've taken the approach to my pregnancy, that I do what I feel is right. Many people told me I shouldn't lift weights, but I do. I've read not to let your heartbeat get over 140 BPM, but others say as long as you can hold a conversation you're fine. Websites like "what to expect when you're expecting" say no sushi, but friends from Japan say they eat it while pregnant all the time. I've heard not to use benzyl peroxide while pregnant, but then the dermatologist says topical is okay. I don't know what's "right" and "wrong", but I feel comfortable with my instinct and trust my gut. Honestly I wish people would give less advice, though I know they mean well. Most of it is actually pretty negative, like hospital horror stories, and "you're going to feel so fat and ugly" (which someone ACTUALLY told me). Pregnancy is so personal and intimate and such an individual experience; I've never known two women to have the same exact pregnancy, so maybe assuming that mine will be exactly like yours isn't the most realistic conclusion?
As far as cravings I haven't really had anything consistent. There have been weeks when I crave things like eggs with salsa (which I hated before becoming pregnant), and cheese crisps (not to be confused with quesadillas), again something I've never liked before. Taylor jokes that because I'm craving things he loves he knows baby is his, silly guy. The past few weeks all I want is salad. All kinds of salad. We had friends over for dinner last night and when I was planning the meal Taylor had to remind me that not everyone can survive off of salad (which I had planned a pretty bomb salad if I do say so myself); I had to focus really hard to come with something that wasn't just another additional salad! Oh, and cypress grove lamb's cheese. I could eat that whole block..and goat cheese with roasted beets..whaaaa? Those sound healthy, and they are, but I did have several weeks where all I wanted was funfetti cake but we had already packed up our kitchen in DC, so first thing I did when we got back to Phoenix was to make myself a funfetti cake. Taylor and a slice, Billy had a slice...I ate the rest of that full sized cake. By myself. In less than two days. Not good, never doing that again. Oh, another silly comparison. So my father-in-law's wakeboard boat's fuel gauge doesn't work, you can't tell its full until it literally starts spitting gas back out at you at the gas station. THIS IS HOW I FEEL. I can't tell when I'm full anymore until my food starts coming back up!! Even after I eat a generous portion I still feel hungry, but if I continue to eat I get soooooo sick and have to sit up for several hours trying not to moan too loudly so my sweet husband can get some sleep! It was a daily struggle to control my portions at first, and I've learned so much about my body! Like, if I finish a plate-full instead of immediately filling it up, wait 10 minutes to see if I'm really still hungry or not.. then I won't have burning pressure behind my breast bone and acid creeping up my throat for 4 hours afterwards! (I've heard word that heartburn means baby has lots of hair? crossing my fingers its red!)
We haven't decided on any names, nor will we until we meet little miss and feel like one of the names we like really fits her! We do have a list, but we aren't sharing it; it's hard to talk about names when we aren't really sure about any of them and don't want anyone thinking we are!
We are so excited for this baby bear to join our little family! October couldn't come soon enough!
Elsbeth, Heinrich, and Willem
