es no bueno

Dear Jeans, 

I would like to take a moment and tell you how truly sorry I am that my thighs and butt will not allow you to be worn, and in fact have damaged 4 of you significantly. When I bought you I was so thrilled to have to cute clothes, perhaps for 2 of you I probably spent too much. And now you lay in a throw-away pile on my closet floor, not because I don't love you, but I just have no use for crotch-torn {or in one case rear-torn} jeans, you simply do not give my body the coverage that is socially acceptable.

I hope you know, dear denims, that when I started running again I had no intentions of not fitting in you, I admit that I guess perhaps somewhere deep in my hippo-campus I KNEW this is what happens when I run, the extra inches, but it has never caused me to RIP any pants prior to you four. 

Dear body,
After all I've done for you, THIS is how you repay me?

Come on, seriously, I just bought those jeans. And now {that I went and bought ANOTHER pair} I have only 1 pair that fit {comfortably, I still squeeze my body into the other non-torn pairs, but I'm afraid that won't last long} Don't you know that jeans cost money! And don't you know its much easier to find jeans that fit when I'm a tiny bit smaller? For Pete's sake, give me a break! {or maybe learn how to do some magic so I can make new jeans that fit perfectly appear out of thin air}
Haven't I been eating healthy? Haven't I been exercising? Haven't I been taking care of you?
But don't worry, I still love you :)

Dear Jean Makers,

Stop marking up your jeans just because you think your name is cool. I am not made of money, and you expensive jeans are the only ones that seem to be fitting, believe me, I jean shopped for 4 hours the other day! No foolin'! And I came home with only one pair! Because all the others that fit were $20 less than 300! 

love{hate},

Kelcie